My Plan
by fananicfan
Summary: A story inspired by a challenge on another site. Yet another variation on what could have happened at the end of the series.
1. Chapter 1

This story was originally posted as a one shot story answer to challenge lines at another board, but readers called for a sequel so there is another part.

Disclaimer: JAG and its characters are the property of Belisarius Productions, CBS and Paramount. No copyright infringement intended. Original characters, story ideas and story are the property of this author.

TIMING: This story requires that you end the series in a different place. For the sake of this story the finale ended a couple of minutes sooner. We got the scene in Harm's apartment, but no coin toss. This story would be one year after JAG: San Diego. My guess is that would be between six and nine months after the finale.

MY PLAN

JAG HQ

BUD'S OFFICE

1249

Bud sat at his desk, trying to concentrate on information in the file in front of him, but it was almost impossible. He kept looking up from the file out of his open office door into the bullpen, hoping to catch a glimpse of them before they went into the general's office. 'Isn't it odd that the two of them have been serving almost six thousand miles apart and I still see them as a team?' Bud thinks as he tries once again to focus on the file.

Losing his leg had changed him, certainly, but, for the most part, Bud had taken the loss of his leg as a blessing for the changes that had ultimately made him a man who was more focused and mature, even though the journey there had been difficult. However, today he was schoolboy giddy. Today, his mentors, his friends, Harm and Mac were coming to town for this year's JAG conference. He hadn't been invited to attend, but Commander Turner had and would be attending the conference. Bud just hoped that, after a year away from the place, inviting Harm out for a beer or asking both of them over to the house for dinner wouldn't be considered inappropriate. More to the point, he hoped that they still viewed him as a friend and that they'd want to come to the house to visit with him and his family.

"Bud, it would be wonderful to have them over, but, sweetie, try not to have too many expectations. They each have their own command responsibilities now. That kind of pressure, combined with their time away from here, could have changed them. They may not accept your invitation."

That's what Harriet had said just last night to him when she'd seen his excitement start to build at just having a chance to see them for a moment today when they came in for a preconference meeting with the general this afternoon. In fact, the meeting was supposed to take place at 1300.

Bud let out a breath that deflated his chest as he sank back into his chair. Harriet was right. He was expecting too much. Headquarters was still efficient perhaps, but cold and unfriendly without them. He closed his eyes, giving himself a moment of darkness to mourn the loss of old times as the reality of Harriet's statement finally became clear.

--

I'm standing in the elevator, trying to calm my inner battle. It isn't the conference or the meeting with the general in nine minutes that has me feeling fragile and unsure inside. It's the woman under the uniform who's off kilter at the thought of seeing him in the flesh after all these months.

I walk out of the elevator, and my feet turn automatically to take me in the direction that I want to go - through the bullpen and to the general's office for our meeting. As my uniformed-self takes confident and precise steps, internally, I wonder if seeing him again will be the end. That's my worst fear: that the miles between us have allowed us to start living a comfortable existence apart and we'll be stuck in a holding pattern for another nine years.

'Perhaps seeing a friendly face will help me cope,' I think, and my feet make the course correction to accommodate me.

His office door is open, and I take one step inside. He has his eyes closed. "I hope you're not napping, Commander."

Bud's closed eyes pop open at the female voice addressing him in a command voice. He starts to stand and come to attention as his eyes open, moving so quickly that he almost loses his balance. This is one of those times that losing his leg doesn't seem like much of a blessing. "No, ma'am, not napping. I was taking a moment to reduce the strain on my eyes from working on the..." Bud's mind hasn't registered the owner of the voice, and he's trying to focus on the name on the folder of the case that he's supposed to be reading and hasn't looked up.

"I was teasing, Bud." I chuckle. 'Maybe some things never change.' Bud then responds to me with that cheerful smile that I remember when I think of him.

Bud looks up to see one of the people whom he'd been hoping to see, and she'd come to him. 'Maybe some things don't change,' he thinks. "Ma'am, I was hoping to get to see you today. I won't be attending the conference. Harriet was hoping that you'd come to dinner one evening while you're in town. I mean, if you don't have other plans."

"There is a dinner at the end of the conference that I'm required to attend, but I currently don't have dinner plans for any other night. Why don't you give Harriet a call and find out what day is best for her? I'll come and find you after my meeting with the general."

"Yes, ma'am, that would be great!"

"Then I'll catch up with you in a little bit."

--

I take in a deep breath and enter the general's office, prepared to see not only the general, but him. I release the breath after a quick scan of the room. I don't see him. I spoke to him only a couple of days ago, and he told me that he was coming, so I've just been granted a temporary reprieve.

"Colonel, please have a seat."

"Thank you, sir," I say and take a seat.

"I'm waiting on a call that I must take before we begin. They assured me that they'd have an answer for me within thirty minutes, and that was twenty-seven minutes ago."

"Captain Rabb running late?" I ask, my voice dripping with sarcasm. My defenses are already shoring up the barriers around my heart in preparation for seeing Harm.

"I'm not sure that he'll be here at all until I get this call."

With those words, the general has let me breathe easier. I'm relieved that I won't have to face him here, at least not today.

"A flight delay, sir?" I ask, fishing to see if it's only today that I won't see him.

"No, it seems that the car bringing Captain Rabb and two others in from Andrews was involved in an accident."

"What happened, sir?" My relief at not seeing him has changed, and now the panic of never seeing him again has my heart beating rapidly with fear.

"Not clear yet." If he knew more, he didn't get it out before his phone started to ring. The general has the receiver in his hand by the middle of the first ring.

I don't know if I want to listen to the general's end of the conversation. Sometimes a one-sided conversation gives you enough of the circumstances that you're able to form the right answers to your questions, but more often the words you hear shroud the truth, and your imagination fills in its own possibilities, so I try not to listen, but that too has its pitfalls. It gives my mind time to wander back to the last time that Harm and I were together in the same place - his apartment, twelve hours before our separation.

We were talking and then we were kissing. He proposed, and then there was more kissing. He said the words that I'd long to hear from him, "I love you, Mac." It was almost perfect. No, it was perfect until the "but I don't want to give up the Navy and you don't want to give up the Marine Corps."

He'd said he loved me. I didn't want to let the moment go, and I made sure that he didn't have time to ruin our last twelve hours together. I kissed him while unbuttoning his shirt. I was determined to know what it was like to be with him, even if it was just that once. I needed to know what it was like to be his if only for the next twelve hours. He owed me that for making me wait so long. I was successful, and we spent most of the next twelve hours in bed, making love. It was everything that I'd expected and more. When it came time for him to leave, he'd said, "We didn't finish talking. I'll call you."

And we have kept in touch, but we haven't discussed 'us' anymore, and the words 'I love you' haven't been uttered by either one of us again. We talk about our work, mostly, but several months ago, there were several phone calls in which we spent time trying to workout the logistics of meeting somewhere for Christmas, but the trip never happened. I think it was me. I didn't want to have another night or two with him, and then be right back to phone calls and emails as the only way to be in touch with him. Of course, that's another thing about the mind. I'm assuming that he wanted to be with me. For all I know, he was coming to tell me about a new girl that he has in London. No doubt she's the type who has his dinner ready when he walks in the door, with comfortable clothes and his slippers laid out so he can get into them before he eats the dinner that she's prepared for him.

The general slamming down the phone brings me out of my thoughts. "Damn it!"

"General?" I say as a question.

"They said that three vehicles were involved. The car transporting our people flipped over and slid off the highway on the roof. They had to cut the driver and front passenger, Captain Rabb, out of the vehicle. They're being transported to George Washington Hospital. It's the nearest trauma center to the crash. The status of them and the other passengers is unknown."

General Cresswell picks up his phone again and tells his yeoman to put a call in to George Washington Hospital. He wants a status report on the victims of the accident ASAP.

--

Once my meeting with the general had concluded, I stopped by Bud's office. I was glad that he wasn't at his desk and didn't have to explain what had happened, but I left a simple note: Call me tomorrow about dinner, Mac.

I took the time to stop by my temporary quarters to change into civilian clothes before going to the hospital to see Harm. Knowing that he's hurt, I have to see him. I have to know that he's okay.

Now at the hospital outside his room, I'm nervous. All the feelings about seeing him again are back, with one exception, the fear. The fear of saying goodbye to a relationship that was never really there is easier when I know that I won't be saying goodbye to him forever.

I enter his room. I see his large form lying there so still that it scares me at first. I take in the sight of him. He has several small cuts on his forehead. His arms are on the outside of the blanket. The one with the IV in it has a bruise the size of his fist on the bicep.

I'm studying him so intently that I don't hear the nurse come in until she speaks. "I'll only be a minute." Her voice startles me.

"They told me at the desk that's he's going to be okay," I say to her to get reassurance.

"Yes, he'll have a headache and be sore like he's never been before, but the doctor says that he'll be fine. The worst of his injuries was the cut on his leg above the knee that took twelve stitches to close and a couple of broken ribs. The rest are minor cuts and bruises. You don't have to worry, Mrs. Rabb. He'll be fine."

"I'm not... Thank you." I didn't want to try to explain our relationship. I couldn't explain our relationship because I don't know what it is.

The nurse leaves, and I sit in the chair next to his bed. I take his hand, and he opens his eyes.

"Is she gone?"

"Who?"

"Vampira."

I smile at his response. "If you mean the nurse, yes, she's gone. Why?"

"Because I wanted to talk to you."

"Harm, it's okay. The time we've been a part... I know it changes things, Captain. Doesn't mean that one day we can't mend fences and be friends again."

"Yes it does."

I can't breathe. He doesn't want to be my friend. "Why?" I choke out.

I feel his hand wrap around mine, and he squeezes it. "Because I don't want there to be fences between us. I don't want there to be an ocean between us any more. Hell, if it weren't for these broken ribs, I wouldn't want there to be air between us. I love you, Mac. I came here with a ring. My plan is not to leave Washington without that ring on your finger and having talked about how we're going to make 'us' work."

I pull his hand to my lips and place a kiss on his knuckles. "What if my plan is never to let you leave?"

"Marry me, and I couldn't be forced to leave."


	2. Chapter 2

AN: The opening is a continuation of the conversation between Harm and Mac in his hospital room at the end of Part I.

**PART TWO**

"You must have hit your head, too, or maybe it's the meds. You're saying that you came here with the intention of us getting married while we're here? Harm, a ring doesn't magically transform our situation. You know that, don't you?"

"I didn't think that it would change our geographic situation, but I did think that a ring would show you that I'd meant what I'd said before we boarded planes for our own separate corners of the world. However, I'm getting the impression that being apart has changed your heart," he says before pulling his hand from mine.

He's now turned his head away from me and is staring at the wall. "You're wrong, my heart hasn't changed. I love you, but we haven't been able to organize a long weekend or a holiday together in almost the year that we've been apart. If we get married, what makes you think that we'll do any better in the next year?"

He turns to look at me. He's taken my logical apprehension as rejection. "I gave up the Navy for you once when I didn't know if I'd ever be with you. You don't think that I'd retire to be near you if you were my wife?"

I swallow hard. He's completely serious. I'm not sure what to say. I love him. I want to marry him, but I don't want him to give up the Navy for me.

"Do you have any medium speed?" I ask as a means of stalling for time. However, answering a question with a question is a tactic straight out of the Rabb playbook, and he might be immune to its use.

"I don't know what you mean by that," he answers.

That didn't give me enough time. I'll explain the question to give myself more time. "I mean that you don't ask or say anything about getting married for almost a year, and now you're talking about getting married this week while we're in Washington. You're at idle for almost a year. Now you're at Mach speed. What's changed?"

"Me," he says reaching for my hand. "I may have been doing the right thing by letting you have your space as you requested, but that had us in park for a while. Your accident on Christmas Eve got the engine started again, but we were still in park. You'd been pushing me away, so I didn't want to push you and have you say that I was crowding you and allow you to start putting space between us again. So, we sat in idle until twelve hours before we had to be somewhere else."

He starts to shift in bed, but his broken ribs waste no time in reminding him that it was a bad idea. He's breathing in and out in short, pained breaths, but refuses to stop talking. "In the last couple of months, I've taken the time to think about things from your point of view. You couldn't know why I wasn't pursuing you more aggressively after Christmas when it wasn't long before that when I'd told you that I wanted to be part of your life. I've always thought that you were sending me mixed signals, but I realized that the mixed signals weren't one-sided. When the chance to come to the JAG conference and Washington came up, I saw an opportunity to make it clear to you that I may have waited until the last twelve hours to be blunt with you, clear up any miscommunications of the past and tell you how I felt, but it is the way I feel - I love you and I want us to be together."

Why is it when he says those three little words that I sigh and my eyes moisten? "I want that, too, but you're talking about getting married by the end of the week. We need to talk this through."

His hold on my hand gets tighter. "We can talk about it or we can just do it."

"Harm, you're not that kind of person. You don't just let go. A week, a month, a year from now, you'll regret it. You'll resent me. Our marriage will fall apart."

"Are you afraid that I'll regret it or afraid that our marriage won't last?"

"Both, but more of the latter probably," I say, unable to keep eye contact with him.

"But you must know that our relationship in its current state will survive for only so long with six thousand miles between us. When we talk to each other over the phone or by email, we never talk about 'us.' I know that's as much my fault as it is yours, but I don't want to lose you when we really haven't tried to be an 'us.'"

"Harm, you should rest. They said that you'll be out of here tomorrow. We can talk about all of this then when you're thinking more clearly."

"Sure, if that's what you want. We'll talk about it tomorrow." He sounds defeated.

"I want you to get better." I offer a smile.

"I am kind of tired. You should go prepare for the conference tomorrow and get some rest yourself. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"I'll stay until you've fallen asleep."

"No need."

"Oh, well, okay. I'll see you tomorrow, then." I stand and lean over him to place a soft kiss on his lips, but he turns his head, and I end up brushing my lips against his bruised cheek, and he winces. "I'm sorry." He offers a nod to affirm that he heard my apology, but says nothing. He closes his eyes, and I leave his room, feeling alone for the first time in almost a year.

THE NEXT DAY

Harm's Apartment  
North of Union Station

With Mac and me needing some place in the middle to meet, I'd changed my mind and left my household goods behind, opting to stay in military accommodations in London until Mac and I figured out the logistics of our relationship and I knew where we'd be living.

My two bags from the car involved in the crash yesterday had been taken to JAG headquarters. Today, General Cresswell had the duty driver that he was sending to pick me up at the hospital bring my bags along, and we were dropped off a couple of hours ago.

Since arriving at my apartment, I've been pacing around, regretting my choices of the last almost year and trying to come to terms with the loss of the one woman whom I'll never completely be able to get over. You can't come to terms with the mistakes that you've made in a relationship and move on if you don't feel like you've ever really had a relationship in the first place.

If Mac hadn't shown at McMurphy's that evening almost a year ago, I wouldn't have liked it, but I would've understood that I'd told her too much at once and that she needed time to process my admission of love and my proposal.

I was upset with her yesterday afternoon when she left the hospital, but I'd mailed her a key to my place months ago when we were talking about meeting here for Christmas, and I expected to see her things here when I arrived.

When I opened my door and didn't see her things, I wasn't too upset at first. After scanning the living areas and checking the bedroom, seeing the thin coat of dust on the surfaces of the breakfast bar and night tables that I know she would've wiped down, I suspected that she'd never been here yesterday, and my heart began to break. Since she'd come to the hospital in civilian clothes, I have to figure that she's staying in the quarters arranged for those out-of-town officers coming to the JAG conference.

A return call from Bud a few moments ago confirmed that she'd checked into her quarters yesterday afternoon, and I have to face the fact that she'd never planned to stay here with me during this trip.

She must have been caught up in the moment almost a year ago. Once things had been put into motion, she just hadn't known how to tell me that she didn't want me. My head is spinning from the thoughts of our conversation yesterday at the hospital. The things that she said don't reconcile with her actions.

My side aches from the accident, but my broken heart is by far the most painful injury.

I walk into the kitchen for a glass of water to take a painkiller. Then I pace for thirty minutes until I feel woozy from the effects of it. So I make my way to the bedroom to lie down before I fall down.

Harm's Apartment  
North of Union Station  
1720

I'm starting to wake and I feel light-headed. I haven't had anything to eat since I had breakfast in the hospital just before I was released. Because of the accident, I haven't been out to buy any food, so I guess I'll call a cab and go get dinner.

My head is full of cobwebs, the residual effect of the pain medicine I took, so I'm finding it hard to remember where I left my cell phone.

A couple of moments pass, and I remember leaving my phone on the breakfast bar in the other room.

I try to sit up, but a twinge in my side has me moving my hand around to hold the side with the broken ribs before I attempt to sit up again.

I finally make it to a sitting position with my feet on the floor when I realize that I'm sitting on the bed where, almost a year ago, I enjoyed the most passionate night of lovemaking with the most incredible woman whom I've ever known. 'I should sell the place furnished,' I think as I place my hand over my aching side and stand.

I've made it down the stairs and am about halfway to the counter where my phone is when there's a knock on the door. I'm certainly not in the mood for company. I take another step towards my phone when I hear Mac's voice from the other side of the door.

"Harm, it's me. Open up."

'Why is she here? Did she come to rub salt in the wounds?' I ask myself as I take a step towards the door. 'No, I'm not going to open the door. I'll pretend that I'm not home' are my next thoughts, but I can't do it. I want to see her, so I take a step towards the door, but, before I can take a second step, I hear a key turning in the lock.

The door opens, and she steps in. She must have come over right after today's session at the JAG conference because she's still in uniform.

"I'm sorry. I had a lapse of memory. I forgot that it might be hard for you to get around. I should have used the key that you sent me in the first place. How are you feeling?"

"Sore, but okay, I guess."

"I hope you're hungry." She lifts the large plastic bag in her hand. "I brought dinner."

"I am. In fact, I was just getting ready to call a cab to go out and get something to eat."

"Then I'm glad I caught you. Why don't you pull up a stool to the bar, and I'll serve you dinner?"

She moves into the kitchen and places the bag on the counter that faces me. "I hope you haven't become a carnivore while you've been in London, because I bought only one meat dish."

"No, I'm still an herbivore."

She smiles at my response. 'God, I love her. What else does she need to hear from me to convince her that I'd do anything to make this work?' I think as she serves up our dinner.

We start to eat, and I'm not sure what to say, so I go with a "safe" topic. "So tell me, were any interesting topics covered at the conference today?"

We talk about the conference or someone who attended the conference the entire time that we're eating. It's when she takes our plates to the sink that she changes the subject.

She's just placed our plates in the sink and her back is still to me. "I don't want you to leave me," she says in a low voice. She turns around, but she isn't looking at me. She's staring at the top of the bar. "Knowing that you love me makes me happy. Not moving forward in our relationship keeps me from losing you. If we stay in neutral, maybe you won't move on from me."

I wish that it didn't hurt so much to move so that I could already be wrapping my arms around her. "But being in neutral keeps us from moving forward together."

She looks up, but finds me no longer at the breakfast bar.

"I won't leave you." Her head turns towards my voice. "You marry me and you're stuck with me. How did the admiral describe me? Ah, yes, I'm like gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe." I've managed to finally reach her and take her into my arms.

Her arms wrap around me, and she gives me a little squeeze that results in pain shooting through me, causing my body to involuntarily flinch.

"I'm sorry," she says as she makes eye contact with me.

Her eyes are the warmest shade of brown as my lips crash onto hers.

We spend a lot of time talking and kissing before she goes down to the car and brings up her bags, and we get ready for bed.

I spend a restless night trying to find a way hold her while we sleep without causing me pain, but it's impossible. Having not been this close to her in almost a year, though, I'll take pain over comfort - any day.

Epilogue

On Friday, the regular conference concludes at 1130. However, it's required that they attend the closing dinner at 1730.

After the morning break, Harm and Mac make their way to Maryland, where there's no waiting period after obtaining a marriage license, and are wed in a civil ceremony.

They don't tell anyone prior to the dinner, so no one there is aware that they're making their first public appearance as husband and wife. After dinner, they do pull the general aside and tell him of the change in their relationship status.

After leaving the restaurant, Harm and Mac wind up back at their Washington apartment twelve hours before their flights leave in the morning.

It'll be only eight weeks before they see each other again when Harm flies to San Diego for a duel mission. One is to surprise his mother for Mother's Day with, not only his presence, but the news that he's gotten married. The second part of his mission is, with his ribs completely healed, to have a long overdue honeymoon with his wife.

They'll see each other a few months later, in August when, by chance, they'll both be in Washington on business at the same time.

They'll see each other again in October when Mac travels to London to surprise her husband for his birthday.

Almost a year after being married, in December, Harm flies to San Diego again, but this time as Captain Harmon Rabb, Junior, USN, Retired. On Christmas Eve, Mac gifts him with the news that, while they were enjoying a week of marital bliss during her visit in London, he'd given her a present - a baby.

Nine months after Harm had enjoyed his week long birthday celebration with his wife in London, he and Mac welcomed two healthy babies - one girl and one boy.

THE END


End file.
